Scaring Sweet Sofia

Dear readers, I learned of some very upsetting news this weekend.   My cousin Sofia, was the victim of a home invasion!  She’s so traumatized, that she can barely speak of the incident.  But, since we’re family, I cajoled her into opening up to me.

You see, Sofia’s dad (uncle Marty), had just departed for work one day last week, leaving Sofia safe and sound in her comfortable home.  Or so he thought….  After her daddy had left for his day, Sofia was just getting situated on her favorite pillow, ready for a little morning siesta, when a large “pop”, interrupted her rest.

Immediately following the loud snap, a rock, (actually, a decorative lava rock), was hurled through the glass panes of uncle Marty’s French doors.  Sofia was shocked, and alarmed, and confused by the noises, and the flying, broken shards of glass.  As Sofia’s heart was resuming to normal speed, two strange men entered the property.

Just hearing my cousin recount this tale, has me in a tizzy!  My heart is beating twice it’s normal rhythm, and I’m feeling, uncharacteristically, angry, protective and afraid.  I asked sweet Sofia to take a moment before continuing her story, as I was beside myself with uncomfortable feelings.

Sofia continued recalling this fateful (and hateful?) day, and I cowered listening to her precise rendition of this memory.  Poor, sweet, Sofia!  She was so frightened by this invasion, that she cowered in a corner, and peed on her daddy’s hardwood floors.  This is an indecency that Sofia has not experienced since her youth, and she was mortified, compounded with being scared poopless (quite literally).

These thuggish troglodytes, after scaring Sofia into silent submission, proceeded to clear uncle Marty’s house of all valuables.  The big screen televisions, laptop computer, jewelry, and all precious mementos, gone….absconded by shifty shoplifters…demonic duffers, I tell you!

When uncle Marty returned home, after a full day of admonishing adolescents (he’s a Jr. High School Principal), he was confused when he entered his home and the alarm system was null.  In fact, the entire electrical grid of the house was dead.  It turns out, that the initial cacophony that Sofia heard, was the power system being manually cut.

I’m just a cognizant canine, and I know my limitations…but, how can anyone, with any decent, moral fiber, nonchalantly invade another person’s property?   In this dog’s world, the worst I see, in the canine community, is the occasional swiping of a treat.  That transgression in miniscule in comparison to what these marauders did to uncle Marty and Sofia.

Thankfully, the local police are on the case.   And, double-thankfully, Sofia was not harmed during this crime spree.  The CSI cats on the scene (not real felines… I’m just playing with some tough, Serpico lingo) told my uncle that he and Sofia are very fortunate, in that many of these hooligans harm any pet present, during their pilfering.  So scary!  My poor, sweet, scared, cousin Sofia, is now exhibiting symptoms of PTSD.  Seriously, she is having a tough time, which is completely understandable, but she is receiving therapy.

Uncle Marty now has a brand new, state-of-the-art security system.  And, God have mercy on any simpleton soul who has the misfortune of trying to infiltrate that fortress!  Not to mention, Sofia is enrolled in a doggie self-defense course.  I always thought of her as bad-ass, but now…watch out!

Ultimately, uncle Marty will be compensated for his loss, through his insurance.  And, more importantly, no one was injured, which is my main concern.  Please, dear readers, take good care of yourselves, and your neighbors.  I know I am going to be more diligent in my surveillance of my house and my neighborhood.  Peace, friends…